This conversation is graded Unsatisfactory: This autistic woman turns the tables

Originally published on Medium.com

Grader’s name: The Grader

Conversation Partner’s name: The Subject

Each bullet point is worth 20 points deducted from overall score:

Conversation opening

• “How are you?” insincerely asked with no pause for reply.

• No follow-up question after greeting. Instead, The Subject commented “You’re so quiet.”

Suggestion for improvement: Instead of saying “You’re so quiet”, ask “What are you thinking about?” or “What are you learning lately?”

Conversation middle

• The Subject rejected the Grader’s contradictory well-researched opinion because The Subject was older and “hadn’t heard of that.”

• The Subject gave off a distracting negative energy but never acknowledged it. Result: The Grader left the conversation feeling confused and depressed.

Suggestion for improvement: When asked “How are you?”, please answer honestly with “Well, not so great today, thanks for checking” or simply “Not my best day.” The Grader has already noticed you’re not doing great.

Conversation ending

• The Grader attempted to authentically contribute to the conversation. Awkward silence until The Subject started talking about something else without acknowledging what happened. After this happened a few times, The Grader put on her “active listening” mask and said nothing else.

Suggestion for improvement: Let the awkward silence sit and don’t try to cover it over with an overly positive tone. Ask a question to express confusion or to clarify what was said. Then continue the conversation.

Conversation Grade: 0

The Grader is exhausted and hopes to reduce further interaction with The Subject until suggestions for improvement are implemented.