The worst polite question in the world: The question that’s so hard for this autistic to answer
Originally published on Medium.com
The question that’s so hard for this autistic to answer
“How are you?” is the worst question in the world.
The end.
Oh, that’s not clear enough?
Sorry, I don’t mean to be confusing. I’ll elaborate with an example.
So let’s assume a random person I passed on the street did NOT throw me the question “How are you?” as a statement. (Because that apparently requires an answer that’s a positive variation of “Fine.” Or, more confusingly, the answer “How are you?”)
And let’s assume I didn’t automatically first say “Hi, how are you?” like I learned as a restaurant hostess and can’t turn off when entering a store, which makes the employee say “How are you” back. (This time they say it as partly a statement, partly a question.)
And let’s assume the asker and I are actually standing face-to-face and properly acknowledging that yes we both are speaking to each other.
And let’s also assume the other person isn’t checking the time on their phone and doesn’t have keys in one hand while the other hand waves to their carpool buddy to hurry up, the car is open when asking me.
And let’s assume the person asked the question as an actual question and not as a statement for social lubricant purposes to make others feel social bonds are being cared for.
And let’s assume the person waits to hear my response.
And let’s definitely assume they actually wait more than a second for me to say something.
And let’s assume at this point that I don’t feel pressured to give the socially expected but puzzling “How are you?” back or the equally puzzling and more frustrating “Good, you?” even when I’m not.
Even assuming all of the above happens, I may still glitch and not know what answer to give because how am I after figuring all of this out?
And don’t ask if I’m okay because I really was okay until you asked and now I’m not sure anymore.
Wait a second.
Maybe “Are you okay?” is the worst question in the world.