Time used to be my enemy: Until I stopped trying to do everything

Originally published on Medium

Before my journey to emotional intelligence and autism diagnosis, Time was my enemy.

A visit to family that happened a month ago felt like a day ago. I still had vivid memories of events while trying to recover my pre-visit energy. During the visit, I thought the agreed upon 2 hour time limit had been completed but no, only 10 minutes had passed…then 15…30… I watched the time on my phone while reading subreddit posts to make sure Time wasn’t playing tricks on me.

According to the clock, a new project used 5 hours of my day. But I was certain that only 5 minutes ago, I’d turned the computer on to begin. And did I really ignore both my alarms to take a break?

As a kid, adults confidently proclaimed “When you’re young, time goes slow but it speeds up as you get older.” And before my autism diagnosis, when I tried to keep pace with everyone else, this prophecy was fulfilled. Time moved too fast and too slow at all the wrong times.

I was too stubborn for Time to be my friend.

And now that I stopped doing “all the things”?

When I miscalculate the length of an activity, Time mercifully adds on only an extra hour or two so I don’t mourn the loss of a whole afternoon. Unpleasant activities now have an end that I feel coming. Mornings feel like beginnings and not the beginning of the end. Time gifts me comfy afternoons that feel three times longer and even bonuses like Saturdays that feel like whole weekends.

And the days I get a late start but stick to my morning routine, I accomplish more than when I scrap health in pursuit of productivity. I still get everything done with extra time to spare…somehow.

I think Time is my friend now.