How I learned to accommodate my sensory needs at mealtimes: Tips from an autistic “picky eater”

Originally published on Medium

I’ve never thought of myself as a picky eater; there was always a reason to refuse a certain food. It was either too squishy or too bland, too cold or the wrong color or smell. All these reasons made perfect sense and were problems that could be fixed, right?

Apparently not.

I, the undiagnosed autistic, was the problem that needed to be fixed. The proposed solution? Force me to sit at the table until I ate the cold Ravioli or black eye peas on my plate. Well, I was (and still am) stubborn. I sat there until the adults realized I wasn’t going to eat more than the small bite I had choked down. And yet, I worried about getting my daily serving of fruits and vegetables. My interest in the human body and health inspired me to want to eat more “healthy foods” but…I didn’t.

Compare my childhood diet of fast food and sweets to my current diet of mostly produce and whole foods, and my favorite food being a tie between Mexican and Thai. Is that surprising from a “picky eater”?

It surprised a great uncle at a recent graduation celebration. I had commented how much I had in common with a cousin’s very particular food preferences, then the conversation veered into favorite foods and I mentioned that I loved Thai food. I felt the surprised energy from my great uncle. I could guess the question: How does a picky eater like such “unusual” foods? I want to share my full answer in case it helps someone else become more comfortable with their food and sensory preferences.

The simple answer
I work with my sensory needs, not against them.

The problem defined
Understand this: I love food. I love to eat.

What my childhood self didn’t know yet was why I hated cheese and milk and ate my cereal dry, why I ate my mashed potatoes with corn, and why I only ate my mom’s crunchy spaghetti because any other spaghetti made me want to throw up. I didn’t understand yet that certain textures made food more palatable for me and the typical American diet did not prioritize those textures (unless you count my favorite snack: chips).

My childhood self couldn’t explain that I disliked most fruits because they tasted like water to my sugar-addicted taste buds (especially when eaten out of season). I didn’t know that good fruit could be crunchy, my favorite texture. My young self couldn’t explain that I disliked most vegetables because they were usually canned or overcooked. I didn’t know vegetables could be crunchy, savory, sour and delicious. All I knew was hard green beans and mushy carrots and too-fluffy boxed mashed potatoes.

Change your food perspective
Once I could go shopping and buy my own ingredients, I cooked the meals I liked. My go-to meal was canned black beans with canned tomatoes and white rice, the perfect combination of flavor and texture.

The biggest change? I made Mexican friends and they changed my social and food life.

The first time I ate a freshly cut avocado imprinted on my mind. My sisters and I were at a friend’s house on a hot summer day. She was hungry and decided to make herself a snack so she got an avocado and sliced it open, seasoning the fruit with a bit of salt. She offered us some. Hesitant, I tasted a little and wow, it actually tasted good! Later, I learned to see fruit as dessert, to see vegetables as part of a meal, not just unpleasant medicines we must consume. And the spices! My sensory-seeking tastebuds wanted more.

My food education continued with Vietnamese and Thai food charming my tastebuds. Rice just happens to be my other favorite food and I was ecstatic to discover rice noodles.

Figure out your sensory preferences
The different foods and cultures introduced a new way to view food. The most important step, though, was figuring out my sensory preferences. That meant paying attention to the foods I disliked and noting their common unpleasant characteristics. Is the texture a problem? The flavor? The color/presentation? The smell? Or maybe the food itself is fine but something affected it, like the storage method.

After this analysis, I know how to alter a meal to my liking. For example, in elementary school, I liked sandwiches but the bread became disgustingly soggy by lunch time. Packing the meat and vegetables separate from the bread and assembling the sandwich at lunch solved this issue.

Is there a food you want to eat but normally dislike? Analyze its sensory profile and experiment with altering those characteristics to create a more palatable dish. Can you add or subtract something? Another simple example: Adding corn to mashed potatoes adds texture to a usually too-smooth side dish.

Looking back, I’m impressed that an 8 year-old me figured out little tricks like adding corn to potatoes without fully understanding my sensory needs (or how the industrial production of food affects its quality). If I was older and educated, you could’ve called me a foodie, maybe even a connoisseur.

Definitely not a picky eater.