What I Explored This Week 12/19/2024 - 12/26/2024: Health, planning, and Ado
Originally published on Substack
Backstory to this new series
I want to share more about my works in progress, what’s not finished yet, things I’m in the middle of. And most of those things start with what I’m learning, exploring, and currently curious about.
So this is my first “What I explored this week” post. Ideally this will be shared weekly but I’m still experimenting so we’ll see if that’s sustainable for me.
On to the post!
What I explored this week
I have a life long interest in health and how the mind affects the body. So I was glad to find this video because it connects more dots between trauma and why the body gets autoimmune disease. I like to get a multi-faceted view of a topic so this is like The Body Keeps the Score plus extra.
Random video find on YouTube of someone else using the idea of levels to describe how complex you can make something!! Love this. I’m not going to use Notion as a habit tracker, though, just sticking with a basic habit tracker.
Realized I need to record my personal tasks on paper and that includes my habit tracker. This video inspired me to use habit tracker on paper with a score.
Link to song on Spotify:
I discovered the singer Ado this week!
I was listening to a Japanese pop music playlist one morning to practice listening to Japanese and one song stuck out to me immediately. I looked up the artist and it was Ado.
And now I’m an Ado fan.
I’m excited because when I was first leaning Spanish, I translated and sang Spanish songs I liked. It was a fun way to learn Spanish. So glad I’ve found Japanese music I like enough to do the same thing!
Thanks for reading about my learning explorations for the week. Take care!
I’ve been following my intuition all along: What curiosity taught me about not knowing the outcome
Someone asked me what I’m doing with my blog writing and I paused before saying what might be the hardest words for a conventionally educated adult to say: “I don’t know.”
It took years to be able to say that. And longer to say it confidently, even excitedly.
I don’t know where I want my writing to go. I just know I want to do it. Let’s see what happens.
I’m following my curiosity, the way I now realize I always do.
In elementary school, I wrote stories because I wanted to.
In high school, I checked out manga drawing books from the library and taught myself to draw that style for fun.
In middle to high school, I took Spanish classes because I was curious. The state required 2 years of foreign language credit but I did 4 extra years, even opting out of high school senior year English class - I had fulfilled my English credits - to take Spanish 5 and read classical Spanish literature. That just sounded way more interesting than English lit.
Now, as an adult looking back, I can see how that curiosity helped me in unexpected ways.
Did I know as a 12 year old that, in my 20s, I was going to spend a month in Ecuador? I didn’t. I just wanted to learn a language.
Did I know that manga knowledge would be useful as Japanese culture became really popular? Nope, I just thought the stories were cool.
Did I know that my husband and I planning a 3 month long trip to Thailand would become 6 months of travel in Southeast Asia? And that experience would get me featured on 2 different podcasts in 2024? And start another year-long experiment that I may write about next year? I had NO idea.
And did I know I would put those writing skills to use to write online? Definitely not.
Curiosity usually works out.
Even the “failures”, like the 2 mini-businesses I started before my bookkeeping business. One lasted a few months and the other lasted about 1.5 years. But I don’t consider those businesses failures, just finished experiments. They gave me experiences I still use to understand the businesses I help now as a bookkeeper.
The data has convinced this reformed Type A personality - keep following my curiosity. It’s fun and useful. It usually leads to the “or something better” that only the universe can dream up for us.
I wonder where my curiosity takes me in 2025?
Building in public is harder than expected: But I still want to try
Originally published on Substack
Build in public, take people on the journey with you, show don’t tell - all great advice that I appreciate when content creators follow it. But when I tried to “show not tell” in 2024, I didn’t do it.
Building in public is harder and scarier than it looks.
So I instead tried to figure out what was so hard for me about sharing my works in progress so I could try again in 2025.
Why it’s so hard
Why is sharing in public so hard? Well, I’m black, an oldest daughter, and autistic so I’m used to keeping my ideas and feelings to myself. I only share projects when complete and proven successful.
My feelings are not easy to share verbally, they make little sense when I barely know what I’m feeling. My ideas are more feelings and thoughts, not fully fledged Asana projects with clear tasks. After too many confused faces and people not knowing how to respond to my excited words, I learned to not share. My personal journal was the only one who got to know what I was doing. And everyone else? The finished product spoke for me — this is what I wanted to do.
Now, I’m better at identifying and articulating my feelings but I don’t answer basic questions as expected, questions like “What’s the goal of this Substack? What do you want in 5 years?”
The real answer is “I don’t know. I want to see what it becomes. I felt like it. I needed to write and share.”
That’s not a good Shark Tank contestant answer but it’s the intuitive truth.
Why I want to try anyways
So even though sharing in public won’t be easy, why do I still want to try?
Well, hard doesn’t scare me. I like to try hard things.
I also love seeing other works in progress and learned so much from them. This is my way to pay that forward to someone else.
Also, I’m not starting from scratch. I’ve been sharing my works in progress the last few years at home with my husband. His encouragement has helped me feel brave enough to try.
What’s next
So how am I going to share? My idea is to write a “What I’m learning now” post where I share what I’m reading currently, courses I’m taking or thinking about taking, new ideas or skills I want to try - anything that’s a work in progress.
I also have a YouTube channel @AneishaWonders- another new idea I’m trying - and may share there too.
I don’t know.
I’m not sure yet.
But I hope you join me as I figure it out.
Follow me on YouTube
YouTube is something new I’m trying because I just had to try: https://youtube.com/@aneishawonders
My 5 Rs framework to help create a simple process that works for you: And how I used it to untangle my business's onboarding process
Originally published on Substack
How I stumbled into the 5 Rs Framework
Other people’s templates typically don’t work for me but I didn’t know why until I started my own business.
After a lot of trial and error, I figured out why using a template is sometimes more confusing than working without it. And I used that knowledge to create the 5 Rs framework to improve templates so I can actually get work done better.
Why templates can be confusing
A good template is a shortcut, a way to skip failed trial and error and start Doing The Thing.
But that doesn’t always happen.
I don’t blame the template, though. What’s missing is context. What apps did the creator have in mind when they turned their own process into a template? What apps, team size, and workflows did the creator assume someone would use with this template? That’s what is missing.
Instead of giving us context, we usually get a template with step-by-step instructions, a checklist, or a workflow and those unspoken assumptions are left unsaid. If you are operating your business similarly to the creator, then you’re probably fine.
But if you aren’t? You get what happened to my newbie business-owner mind: confused and frustrated and ditching the template to rely on my own imperfect memory, exactly what I was trying to avoid.
The 5 Rs framework
I stumbled into this framework this year, 3 years into running my current bookkeeping business. I’m currently geeking out about frameworks so you’ll see more of these in future.
I’ll share each step below and then use the example of my client onboarding process to show how I apply each step.
Reference - Have a reference point to start creating your process
Use someone else’s: Borrow a template or framework as your starting point, even if it’s not perfect. Acknowledge that others' processes might not align with your style or software.
Or create your own: Brain dump your own list of steps on paper, a doc, or your preferred app.
Review - Use your process and note what’s not working
Use the process repeatedly, identifying issues, inefficiencies, or missing steps.
Brain dump what you’re actually doing (on paper, audio, or video) and reference your template to avoid missing steps.
Revise - Revise your process to better fit what you’re actually doing
Add or subtract steps to refine the workflow.
Advanced - Organize into phases or sections to clarify the flow and make gaps easier to spot.
Realign - Realign your process to your goals
Ensure the process aligns with your goals, adjusting it as needed to achieve your desired outcomes.
Repeat - Continually revise your process
Accept continuous improvement: Revisit steps 2–4 regularly. Processes will never be perfect, but each iteration brings greater clarity and a better experience for everyone involved.
How I used the 5 Rs to untangle my bookkeeping business’s onboarding process
Reference
When I started my business, I had several templates that detailed how to onboard a new bookkeeping client. The problem? Each template’s onboarding was dependent on the creator’s tech stack, team, what makes sense to their brain and other factors that didn’t match me. But I felt more comfortable relying on those templates than creating my own.
Review
While using the templates, I skipped steps because they didn’t fit my workflow. For example, one template separated contract creation, contract sending, invoice creation, and invoice sending. But I used Dubsado which let me combine those actions into one step. Skipping steps in a template was a clear sign I needed to update my process.
Revise
I brain dumped what wasn’t working into a Google Doc and used that to update my onboarding process in Asana. I also added Asana project sections to divide onboarding into phases, like setting up the client in our internal systems.
Realign
My bookkeeping business goal is to take bookkeeping off of the owner’s crazy long to-do list. Unfortunately, onboarding can feel like more to-dos since they have to provide information and multiple documents.
My current process did not feel aligned to that goal. The owner gets our checklist of tasks in their portal to complete when it’s convenient for them. They also get a deadline to complete all tasks in 2 weeks. Seems good but I've noticed that most people don’t start the tasks until the 2nd week. And the list can feel overwhelming.
So I have 2 ideas to realign onboarding to my goal: 1) Shorten onboarding to 1 week and 2) Require an onboarding call to compete all tasks on the call. But if someone is able to complete the tasks before our call, then we can cancel it.
Repeat
I continuously review my process, revise and realign it to closer match my goals. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve repeated this for just the onboarding process.
Takeaways
I hope this 5 Rs framework helps you figure out how to improve upon a template or even create your own from scratch.
When the right advice is wrong for me: How to make networking events less awful
Originally published on Substack
My personal trick to make networking events less awful as an introverted business owner?
Let them be potentially awful.
I’ve noticed many people prep themselves for an event with phrases like “This is going to be fun” or “I’m so excited to go.”
But that attitude doesn’t work for me. It's too much pressure to make this event go well and I can’t show up curious and open-minded. So instead, I play a game of “How awful will this event be?”
I keep that question in mind when I enter the event room. It’s not a negative question, but a curious one, almost a challenge asking "No, really, how bad can it be?"
I like that this game removes any pressure to make an event memorable. Any less-than-good moments are just points marked on a mental scoreboard with a smile instead of an anxious stomachache.
If the event is awful, I win the game. And if it’s not awful, the loss is still a personal win.
Ironically, since starting this game, I rarely have a terrible time at networking events. I usually have at least one interesting conversation. And I don’t always leave early.
The takeaway?
Sometimes doing the opposite of everyone else gets us to the same place faster and happier. Because the right advice for one person can be the wrong advice for another.
The problem with undefined social invitations: This is why I'm just going to say "no"
Originally published on Substack
Okay. Fine. I admit it.
I don’t handle social ambiguity well.
To have fun, I need as much clarity and specificity as possible. Specificity like sending a Calendly link to schedule a catch-up with my sister. That’s the level of unambiguity I need to enjoy a social event.
So invitations like “come over anytime” are just not for me due to the ridiculous amount of time spent analyzing them, looking for meaning.
First, I wonder if it’s an actual invitation. Or maybe the invite is the polite message “I’m saying goodbye in a way to leave this conversation without feeling bad.”
Then, if I feel this is a genuine invitation, I try to figure out the meaning of “anytime.”
They haven’t told me their preferred visiting times. I don’t know their daily schedule. So am I supposed to intuit what “anytime” means? (Because I know it's not literally any time. I doubt they want me to pop by at midnight.)
Next, I think about what we’ll do during the visit. Should I bring a game to play? What if I don’t feel like talking? And how long should I stay?
After all that thinking, I’m tired already. And I haven’t even gotten to the actual peopling part!
So let’s be honest:
I’m not showing up to your casual “come anytime” invite.
Sorry not sorry.
But if you say something like “Hey, I’m making cookies tomorrow. Stop by around 5 to get some.”
I’ll be there.
Because instead of freezing from analysis-paralysis, I can ask myself easy questions with easy answers:
Am I free around 5? Yes.
Do I want cookies? Yes.
And even if I don’t want cookies, do I want to visit this person? Yes.
That’s the level of specificity I need to enjoy being around other people.
Tutoring quiet kids helped heal my inner quiet kid: Because being quiet felt like a bad thing
Originally published on Medium
I tutored math for almost 2 years. I had different students, some quiet, some more talkative. I noticed that my lessons with the more confident, talkative kids felt easier to do. The quieter kids felt like more effort.
That realization horrified me because I was a quiet kid.
I remember how inadequate I felt at school, worrying that my teacher didn’t like me. I felt them connect with other students. But no matter how nice I was, I couldn’t connect like that.
I also saw that more talkative, confident students didn’t need coaxing out of a shell. They didn’t need extra questions. There were no awkward silences to wait through.
But I was a quiet kid. I hung back in class. I wished for extra questions and more time to think them through. I wore silence like an itchy sweater. I felt like a bother, like I didn’t talk enough so I smiled a lot to try and make up for it.
I hated that I was potentially making another quiet kid feel the same way.
So what was the problem? I was a quiet kid so shouldn’t I know how to connect with quiet kids?
Normally, yes.
Outside of tutoring, I treat kids like individuals, human beings who can teach me as much as I teach them. I can be quiet with them.
But I abandoned my usual approach and imitated other math tutors because I felt like an imposter. Like, who was I to call myself a math tutor? I wasn’t a certified math teacher.
I imitated other math tutors, adults who follow the conventional belief: “I’m the adult and I must teach you. You’re the kid and you must listen to me.” That’s how I was treated as a child.
Didn’t work for me. Wasn’t working now.
So I stopped.
I went back to how I usually talk with kids. I got curious. I let the silence breathe. I asked more questions.
And eventually the quiet kids became just as easy as the talkative ones.
And my old hurt at being the quiet kid began to heal.
What overwhelm looks like for me: Because it still happens sometimes even with a good routine
Originally published on Medium
I need to brain dump my thoughts onto paper daily at first and then multiple times a day (but I don’t save the paper).
I think so loudly that I miss what’s happening around me.
I bump into more objects and lose track of where my limbs are.
My brain is busy when I try to sleep and is still going when I wake up.
My stomach is tense and my breaths are shallow.
Video is overstimulating reading is overstimulating I’m under stimulated inactivity is somehow overstimulating.
I need multiple lists and reminders to remember what I’m doing.
I’m stressed by
everything.
And I don’t notice all this until I finally remember to
stop
take a deep breath
and then I realize: Oh. I’m overwhelmed
Improving my mood by changing my wake up time: I experimented with different wake up times and 6:15 am won
Originally published on Medium
I experimented with waking up at different times to see how it affects my mood. And I noticed an improvement when I wake up before 7:00 am.
The experiment started this summer when I took advantage of my flexible schedule and began snoozing my usual 7:30 am alarm.
My brain interpreted the later wake up time to mean “Go to bed later!” And since I slept later again, I snoozed the alarm again the next morning.
And so the Sleep Late-Wake Late cycle began again.
This happens sometimes, thanks to a lifetime of sleep troubles. It’s a familiar cycle that I have to break out of. And I can’t break out of it by going to sleep earlier. That NEVER works.
What works is a hard reset by waking up very early.
Even if I sleep late the night before.
This summer, I accidentally broke the cycle by waking up early for an appointment. The alarm rang at 6:00 am and I opened my eyes, fully awake. I didn’t even think about tapping the “Snooze” button.
The scientist in me wondered “Is my 7:30 am wake up time making me want to snooze my alarm?”
So I decided to test it out. I woke up at different times each morning and noticed how I felt.
7:00 am — Feel more awake but still tempted to snooze my alarm.
8:00 am — Feel so pessimistic, want to keep sleeping. Ugh, why am I getting up.
9:00 — Feel a bit more awake but still groggy. And now the day feels off since I woke up later than usual.
6:30 — Feel more awake, getting up was less of a chore, less tempted to snooze the alarm
6:00 am — …Am I me? What are these effortlessly positive and happy feelings?? Not tempted to snooze the alarm. Hmm…
6:15 am — I think this is the right time. Still feel positive, happy, looking forward to the day, not tempted to snooze.
My conclusion based on my very scientific self-experiment? Waking up between 6:00–7:00 am greatly improves my mood.
This doesn’t surprise me though. I’ve always loved being up early. There’s something special about being awake when the world is still asleep. I used to wake up at 5 am for church activities and half the fun was being out and about early.
Oh and update: One month later and the 6:15 wake up time is still working.
I wake up at the same time everyday (yes, even weekends). Improving my mood just by changing my wake up time was a successful experiment.
My next challenge? Going from “No, I’d rather stay awake than go to sleep” to “I like going to sleep!”
….We’ll see how that goes.